He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
