Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
