Small penises have feelings too.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
