I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
