Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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