i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
