After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize