She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Did you just see the Batmobile???
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
