ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
