When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
