Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
