So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize