break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
