So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
