Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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