So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
