dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
