stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
