My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
