Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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