I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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