Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize