I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
