Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
