My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Randomize
