This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
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After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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