Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
