Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
