I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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