I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
