Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize