I'm drive I can fine osifer
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
