is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Randomize