well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
