I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
