i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
false alarm, still single
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