I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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