he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
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he fucked my hip out of place.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
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this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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