I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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