did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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