My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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