The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
