i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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