It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
