Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
