i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
