I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
