It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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