I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
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You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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