I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
