if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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