is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
