Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I have already put on my inside pants.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
