I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
