my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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