I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
