He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
