if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
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i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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