cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
