I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
