True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
