There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
