You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
