i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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