I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
