can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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