Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
