That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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