U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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