Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
