life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
