I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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