Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
