I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
