the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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